I'm back, baby!

Alright, alright. Have a seat class. We have a lot to cover this week.

I sincerely hope everyone had a pleasant Spring Break. I hope it was a welcome and relaxing break from studies, and a hardy "Welcome back!" to each and every one of you. There is so much to go over this lesson, so let's get crackin'.

REQUIRED VIEWING

THE GOOD.

Pardon the unprofessional nature of what I am about to divulge, but Zooey Deschanell is a babe. She & Him volume 2 hit store shelves yesterday, and I've been giving it a good listen. Expect a review of it soon! (Spoiler Alert: It's awesome.)

THE BAD.

Pardon the unprofessional nature of what I am about to divulge, but Stacy Hedger has horrible taste in sneakers. If she was wearing better shoes, this would have been awesome. Seriously, I couldn't stop laughing at her shoes.

THE UGLY.

Why did the bike throw the man off of it?

Because it was two tired to go on.

DISNEY WORLD!

Now that we have got the formalities out of the way, I can move on to the segment that I teased two weeks ago. If you didn't read my previous post, this will be the first time you hear from me on Faulty bLogic that I went to Disney World over the break. And how was it, you ask? Well does this picture answer your question?

The answer's HELLLLL YEAH. In the word's of Joe Biden, "This is a big fuckin' deal".

However, if that picture does indicate one thing, it's that 10-year-old Brian did in fact emerge, and took over. What a wonderful place! But I must say, it also had it's eerie parts... for example, they don't tell you in any of the travel brochures, websites, or commercials for this damn place that Mickey and Minnie Mouse are hundreds of feet tall. That was quite a shock to me.

Also, in the park, there was nothing epic to look at. Nothing.

And no good thrill rides.

And the most annoying homeless people that force you to take pictures with them.

There was also not much to get excited about in general.

And no fountains.

And there is no actual proof that I went through that gate below.

BUT THERE WAS THE DHARMA INITIATIVE JUMP SUITS WORN BY CREEPY MANNEQUINS AND FISH STICKS.

CUESTION CORNER!

Here's a question that was in the comments of my previous post... and as it is my first REAL cuestion, I feel obligated to answer it. Wait? Did I just admit that? Oh well. Bring on the cuestion!

I have a question for the Cuestion Corner, and it will be great when you get back. While you were at Disney World, did you happen to find Walt's frozen head? I mean Walt Disney, not little black Walt.

Love,
me

Thanks, me. Your cuestion is inviting and stimulating.

Unfortunately I never saw Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen head. Which is upsetting, because that was very much on my to do list. However I did see little black Walt's frozen head and kids were playing soccer with it. Reminds me of my youth, and playing soccer with severed heads.... My youth...

Hey! That reminds me of a story!

Once upon a time in a magical far away place known as Orlando, Florida, ten-year-old Brian went to Disney World at the age of 22 and loved it.

Send your questions to Bridrummer5@gmail.com

You have nothing to lose. Go for it.

Spring Break!

Well, an extended break from classes is an always welcome change. And trust me, as an educator myself, I can tell you that we teachers look forward to these breaks just as much as the students, if not more so. (Not likely.)

So what are your plans for Spring Break? I for one am going to Disney World! I'm meeting up with my best friend from high school, Todd, and we are going to have a blast! I will be sure to share with you thoughts/pictures/stories once I'm back, so until then 10 year old Brian has taken over, and I'm incredibly giddy and excited.

REQUIRED VIEWING

No explanation needed. Just watch. It's amazing.

The most amazing song in the world.

Thank me later.

(How about now? That was the worst thing I have ever seen. Thanks for wasting my time.)

Cuestion Corner!

Today's cuestion is a very important, and relevant topic. It reads:

Hey Dr. Brian!

Your last post was too weird. I didn't really like it. Or understand it.

Anyway, I heard from a friend that you are going to Disney World. That's cool, I guess. My question is who is your favorite Disney Princess? Also, do you have a Disney Crush? You should totally seek this character out at Disney World.

Here's to hoping your blog gets better,

Andy

Excellent cuestion, Andy. Well, as I grew up in the Disney-Home-Video Generation I certainly do have a favorite Disney Princess and a Disney Crush, but they are not the same. In fact... it's a bit more complicated than that.

My favorite Disney Princess is easy. It's Mogley.

My Disney crush on the other hand, and forgive me if I get a bit bashful about this sort of thing, is Snow White.

Why???? Because as soon as she is rescued by the Seven Dwarves, she cooks and cleans for them?! And she's a mega-babe.

AND SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A STUCK UP BITCH LIKE SLEEPING BEAUTY.

UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... What a hoebag.

Email your questions to me, people. Bridrummer5@gmail.com

So long for now! My next post won't be for a week.

Class is now in session.

Hello class! Nice to meet you!

I see some new faces out there, but some that are familiar. (You flunked me last term...) I hope that by the end of this course I will know all of your names, but as for now let's just get started!

First of all, what is Faulty Blogic?

(Other than what seems to be a punch-line to a horribly unfunny joke. Beats me.) This is actually a question that cannot be answered right now. The purpose of this blog is to figure out what it's about. All I can tell you is that there will be segments that will appear on every post (Will we be quizzed over this shit?) that will bring us closer to the answer, but wether (Why is he talking about a castrated ram?) such an answer exists I cannot say. (What? That sounds stupid.)

Random Thought

So this year is the year 2010, correct? 2010. 2010.

When I made you read the year just now in your head, how are you reading it? (I'm using my eyes. P.S. I hate you.) What I'm trying to say is, in your mind's voice, did you read it as "Two thousand ten" or "Twenty Ten"? (Two zero one zero. Don't ask the questions if you don't like the answers.) Personally, I find "Twenty Ten" to be much cooler. I encourage you to do the same.

If you have any hopes of passing, you will henceforth refer to this year as TWENTY TEN in your mind. I'll know when you do otherwise.

Required Viewing

TOY STORY 3 Trailer number 2

Cuestion Corner!

Here is the section where I answer YOUR questions! Of course, this is the first one so I'll cut you some slack. Email your questions to Bridrummer5@gmail.com

This week's question reads:

Hey Brian,

Something has really been bugging me lately and hopefully you can help me out. My question is this:

How did I know to write and send you a question if this is the first cuestion corner? Also, your blog didn't exist before now, so how did I know that you would eventually write a blog and have a section where you answer questions?

Your long-time and adoring fan,

Josh

Age-63

Weight-139lbs.

Sign- Scorpio

Springfield, Florida

303 Kings Rd.

Backdoor- Always unlocked

Well hello Josh, and thanks for signing up for the class! (Get out while you can!)

My guess is that you are some sort of omnipotent being, or perhaps an over zealous time traveler of sorts who is not yet aware that he is time traveling. Very strange. OH I HAVE AN EMAIL! I'm going to check it.

It reads:

Hi again,

No. I'm neither of those, Brian. Guess again.

Love always,

Josh

Expensive electronics- Many!

Leaves the house- 8:00 to 5:30

I think my blog is haunted.

Until next time, class dismissed.